An Epiphany

I had a such a huge learning experience last night, that I feel the way I did when I was five and I first learned to tie my shoe.

Jim has been having a rough time of it, being out of work, and I wanted to cheer him up. So we decided to go to the movies and I let him pick the show. He chose the Watchmen, of which I knew nothing other than that it was about superheroes. The movie turned out to be very dark, violent and gritty. I could feel my self curl into a ball and try to pull away from it all. I don't like to have my armor come up like that, but I knew that Jim really wanted to see the show. So I told him "I'm leaving. I'll go do something else and come back for you. Just stay and enjoy the show." He was concerned, but understood and made sure I had the car keys.

To put it in context, this was a big step for us. In the past, I might have demanded that we both leave. Or I would have stayed and been miserable, and then angry. Jim would have felt guilty, then angry. The night would have ended in tears.

Instead, I went to Chapters, and treated myself to a book that fed my soul. A book I ordinarily wouldn't have bought, but felt that I deserved this night. I also went to the manager and got a free movie pass since I wasn't watching the show. And when Jim came out of the movie, I could smile and ask him if he enjoyed himself. And he did.