Sunday, March 15, 2009

An Epiphany

I had a such a huge learning experience last night, that I feel the way I did when I was five and I first learned to tie my shoe.

Jim has been having a rough time of it, being out of work, and I wanted to cheer him up. So we decided to go to the movies and I let him pick the show. He chose the Watchmen, of which I knew nothing other than that it was about superheroes. The movie turned out to be very dark, violent and gritty. I could feel my self curl into a ball and try to pull away from it all. I don't like to have my armor come up like that, but I knew that Jim really wanted to see the show. So I told him "I'm leaving. I'll go do something else and come back for you. Just stay and enjoy the show." He was concerned, but understood and made sure I had the car keys.

To put it in context, this was a big step for us. In the past, I might have demanded that we both leave. Or I would have stayed and been miserable, and then angry. Jim would have felt guilty, then angry. The night would have ended in tears.

Instead, I went to Chapters, and treated myself to a book that fed my soul. A book I ordinarily wouldn't have bought, but felt that I deserved this night. I also went to the manager and got a free movie pass since I wasn't watching the show. And when Jim came out of the movie, I could smile and ask him if he enjoyed himself. And he did.


  1. lovely to read of such a good compromise. and you both got something from the evening.
    Dad's jumper looks very nice, will watch out for the modelled shot.

    take care,

  2. Good choice of book. Hope you enjoy it. Didn't know that you could get a refund on a movie like that. hat was nice, too. Congrats on your problem solving evolution.

  3. Oops! Some kid here must have commandeered my google and so my name didn't appear with my comment. I am not pimpilicious.

  4. Laurie, this is a wonderful story about selflessness and love. Thanks for sharing it.

  5. My esteem for you just went up ANOTHER level.

  6. Anonymous8:19 pm

    Good for BOTH of you!

    Gwyndolyn O'Shaughnessy